let me be clear, 

I don't believe in god, but when I am driving down the canyon and I nearly nick a deer, I exhale and say thank, god. and as I continue driving i feel a large amount of gratitude.

here's one thing about feeling: it's permeates the body and will eventually dissipate into the air, sometimes you can direct it, if careful.

sometimes I feel like feeling comes ex nihilo, from out of nowhere within me. I know this sounds perhaps mystical, which isn't a bad thing, but it makes it hard for other to relate to, unless they also lonely. 

i was speaking to a friend and he said, if there's any miracle it's human connection (thanks wyeth), and I seem to agree with him, seem to, because I'm not sure. 

I only don't know things. everything else is left to hope or nothing.