the inherent violence of life

whether or not, well, whether or not I come to find out how to think like something differently than a consumer, well, this is what I am hoping to do, to look at a forest and think of it first and primarily as a gallery, waiting for the sounds to surprise me, or unsettle me, or make me think about how it is not a gallery, how it makes oxygen and I breathe that oxygen, and it breathes what I leave it, that my excrements feed it, and what kind of art gallery does that, honestly. I went with some people to a forest, and now, I respect these people, love these people, and even live with some of them. my son, first and foremost saw it as an adventure. my daughter was giggling beyond belief, and most of the adults took a few short breaths and enjoyed it as well. but the whole intent of the journey was to pick out and chop down a christmas tree, and at one point the forest inevitably became a storefront, and the postures were to consider and think of the trees as something to consume, something to own and take and place in their own homes. my wife encouraged me to help her pick out a tree, and i didn't have the heart at the time to say what I was thinking, that I was trying to atrophy my consumerist muscles, that I didn't want to look at the trees as some sort of clothing for my living room, that I wanted to enjoy the forest like my son and daughter were enjoying it. my daughter asked me to pick a pinecone so she could look at it, throw it, and I gave it to her. I picked some sap from the tree and chewed on it. and how hypocritical I was. I helped to build a fire, and this is what I mean: am i inevitably a consumer, can I live beautifully. the trees consume water, air, light, and is consumerism just built into life. i suppose what i wanted was to consider how I was consuming, since consuming is inevitable. how do I take in the forest. walking into the forest with my mouth closed, well, one can only live a few minutes at most without consuming air, and even then can i hold my breath to death ... the internet tells me that I can hold my breath to the point of passing out (which takes a lot of willpower) but that after that moment the involuntary systems kick in and force you to consume air. i suppose I could starve myself to death. I suppose I could refuse to drink. but the point is, consumerism is tied to life itself, and I suppose I am using the term broadly, using it to mean any sort of intake. i even helped to build a fire at our little forest adventure. could I live off of fruit that falls from the tree, but wouldn't I be taking away from the tree that would grow from the fruit's seeds. it seems to me that life is inherently violent. and what am I to do about this.