diary entry

I’ve figured some things out. I am going to start working as a professional editor. I’m ready to move into that sector of professionalism. I am going to go into work tomorrow and talk with Trenton about when I can stop working. I’d like to be able to stop right away. But I want to give Trenton enough time to adjust his plans to compensate for my leaving. I think that one week is enough time, but if he feels like he can adjust in less time, then I will probably stop sooner. I’ve got two big projects that will help me through the rest of the summer: Eric’s website and the ghostwriting that I can eventually get to. Even if we have to adjust the deal with the ghostwriting, I think that will work out well. I’d also like to start to get my website together. I’ve been doing a lot of research and I think I have enough resources to figure it all out. At any rate, I can do whatever I put my mind to, and I am going to put my mind to this. At any rate, I’ll be glad to have an MFA, which will allow me to teach college courses, which could happen in Utah county or Sanpete county or any county really.


So I’m excited for the MFA program. I’m looking forward to studying poetry. I like the balance that I have. I am studying poetry, and practicing fiction and editing. I think that I can work on my non-fiction through the editing profession. Yes, I can work on fiction through JFP. I can work on poetry through BYU and I can work on non-fiction through ZTP. At any rate, I like having the balance. I think it will really come together for some strong writing. 


So, these next few weeks, I’ll need to focus on ZTP, JFP and BYU. Those are going to be my three main professional foci for the coming year. I’m going to make each of them rock. I want to be able to work on a syllabus for the classes that I will be teaching. I want to work on a website for the business services I’ll be fulfilling, and I want to work on a novel for the writing that I’ll be doing / work on a business that I’ll be growing. 


I’ve been thinking about taking not only my professional life more seriously, but also taking my spiritual life more seriously as well. I’m realizing that it comes down to a desire to be a literal saint. I want that level of spirituality. I want to focus on God’s direction to be loving. I am not interested in being sacrosanct or hypocritical. I don’t want to appear good. I want to be actually good. It’s not about numbers or things or programs. All I care about are people and nurturing the goodness in them. I can accomplish that. I can do good things. So, my plan is not to know good, or to feel good, it’s to be good, to spread good / god. Really, I just want to serve and help people. That is my goal: discipleship. 


With that in mind, I am really looking forward to this next year. I have a whole life in front of me, and I can really become everything that I want to. I am in charge of my destiny, my body, my self, my identity. I’m off onto the road before me. 


Now I’d just like to do a little bit of free-writing. I was going to say that I’d like to play with words, but I think given the day (the sabbath), I’d like to not play but pray with words:


Dearest, you’re like a flag